To Close 2011
I imagine that you, like me, have been or are still running around to close 2011 as you wanted! Goals to accomplish, promises to keep, requests to deliver and much more. Getting ready to start thinking on the next challenges of 2012.
And in this race, have you stopped to think and appreciate what you have already accomplished? As the “gringos” say, have you given yourself a “pat on the back” for what you already are and have?
During this end of year holidays, give yourself the time, the love and the gifts you really want. Specially the TIME. Think of what you dreamt about years ago and you now have or feel.
Time is the basic ingredient to cultivate any relationship.
These last years technology has allowed us to get closer to so many people that we would otherwise see very little. But we can’t be in two places at once, when one of our virtual gadgets ring, or vibrates, or turns on, our attention shifts somewhere else. In those cases it is not only a matter of time, but also of attention and unconditional interest for the person you have by your side.
What I wish for you during these holidays and for the beginning of 2012 is that you reward yourself and those around you that are always there for you. That you focus on appreciating what you have and accomplished instead of worrying about what you don’t have and still want to do. This will make you align with the things that truly matter to you and what they represent.
There is so much buzz about what’s going to happen in 2012. Who knows what will or won’t occur? The only sure thing that can happen is how you want to feel in the depths of yourself. Everything that is a part of you and what you have worked so hard to obtain. Enjoy it!
Before you start with your goals for 2012, I invite you to start with a list of what you’ve accomplished and give yourself a big “pat on the back”!
A big hug to end a cycle and start the next one!
Every spring morning walking to Carolina’s school (a kindergarten run by nuns), we pass by beau-ti-ful rose bushes that I love, and I say “Caro, look at those beautiful roses, come, lets smell them.” So we stop and smell the bushes filled with pink, orange and white and we discuss which smells better (I prefer the pink ones, she prefers the white. Actually, her smelling senses are very developed, in the sense that she weighs her likes and dislikes according to smells… so probably the white roses do smell more!). During this process my internal thoughts consider that only nuns can, in this hectic day and age, maintain these roses so beautiful, so healthy.
As we leave, one thing comes to mind, who knows what meaning will Carolina or Martina give to these roses, or flowers in general, as they grow up? That I stop every time to show them beautiful flowers so that we can enjoy that wonderful gift of nature? Or the stunning trees in our Redona park, which transform every season of the year? What am I leaving them with?
I hope to have many years ahead, and I, with my somewhat over analytical and complex mind, am thinking about these things. But, the power that us parents have over our children is so strong. As a woman of course I think mothers have more impact over our children. The meaning we give to things, the likes, the dislikes and the prejudices.
On the other hand, what are we dragging with us or what ancestral patterns are we choosing to break, interrupt or continue? What a gift and tremendous responsibility we have, to be able to choose what to pass on and give our children.
During the time my sister Susy died I was going to my Green Gulch Zen Center in Mt. Tamalpais, crossing the Golden Gate in San Francisco (snif, snif…). One of the things that stuck with me was the concept of interdependence and how we all carry a little piece of everyone in ourselves. That’s it! The fact that a person is not physically present in our lives doesn’t mean they can’t be in our souls and hearts. Additionally, the things through which we pass are sometimes unnoticeable.
I want to believe I am breaking ancestral patterns that I dislike and adopting some new ones to change future generations. We are all doing this, what a big responsibility right?
It’s not as serious as it sounds… with love and fun, va tutto bene!
All That Glitters Isn’t Gold
Here are the latest news from a respectable source, it turns out I am a negative person, have a closed personality and victimize myself… ouch!
The truth is that these “truths” (excuse my redundancy) hit me pretty hard for various reasons. First, they’re characteristics in people that I REALLY dislike! Second, because I feel completely the opposite way about myself, and third, because it is a huge task to assume and change!
Actually, on the outside, I feel none of these characteristics are mine. Quite the contrary. I believe I find a solution for everything, I try to take advantage and enjoy what I do and search for the positive aspects of things – so that basically all that happens to us makes us learn and grow. And, in relationships, when something goes wrong, I take responsibility in what I can change and give and if at that point it doesn’t work, then I let it go (but I keep striving before giving up).
And then? Without going into much detail, because I would be completely exposed, there are some situations when I can’t see the positive side and I sometimes feel that the world owes me.
Lately, for some strange reason, I have surrounded myself with people that on the outside seem negative and closed, but really aren’t on the inside. It is just very hard for me to pass the barrier and see their interior, and I imagine the same thing happens to others with me.
What happens is that we then choose people that may be like us in some ways but aren’t really deep down. Or that we dislike some of their traits and characteristics, when in reality we actually don’t.
I also see this with words coming out of our mouths. When there are inconsistencies between what you feel inside and the way you act, you end up saying things that don’t actually reflect what you really feel or who you really are. But this is what others see and hear, and the basis on which we are judged.
The key is to align with ourselves. What message are we giving? To the rest of the word, but especially to yourself. On the outside you are a happy tinker bell, but in reality something is eating you up inside? Or you have excellent ideas, but they come out wrong when you try to transmit them. I don’t think this is entirely related to the way we can or can’t communicate our thoughts, this is also very important. But it depends more on how solidly or clearly you see it, it is then that transmitting your message is easiest.
So, just like in the game Chutes and Ladders, we go back to the beginning… but what happens when the game ends? You start another one!
Think about this, what you transmit to the outside really reflect your interior? What ideas are you convincing yourself to believe so that you don’t have to change your inner layers? What do you need to align what you feel inside with what you are outside? Maybe your answer is nothing, if so, evviva!! (as the Italians say). If there is something, do it! Things come out to light sooner or later, so, as Wayne Dyer says about taking care of your physical health: “If you don’t take care of it now, you’ll HAVE to take care of it later…” Rather sooner than later. I’m already working on mine… until next time and saluti from Rimini!
The Basic Rules of Tennis
Today I played tennis after many months. It was four in the afternoon with 35 degrees Celsius. I felt my aorta in the nose and an explosion in my head, but as always, I enjoyed my time on the court like a little kid in an amusement park!
Unfortunately, I am super fickle with tennis, but I will continue to do it as long as I am able at least once in a while because I LOVE IT. It gives me a feeling of freedom and happiness and teaches me a lot.
My internal dialogue was entertained today with the thought of how we should always start at the beginning, at the base. Tennis 101. Even though of the fact that my physical strength wasn’t at its best at that temperature, that the distances weren’t well calibrated, my strength, wanting to hit it hard, etc… I kept repeating: “start at the beginning”. So, every time the opponent’s ball departs get on your side, bend your knees, pull the racket back and hit the ball when it is at its peak.
This was the second part of my “rediscovery” today. You have to hit the ball when it is at THE PEAK! You have to enjoy parties at their peak when the best music is playing, you can’t leave before, let alone come later, it’s already too late.
It has already been said that the only certain aspect of life is change. That’s why we have to take full advantage of the moments when we are on top. Afterwards, the ball falls, sometimes is stops and other times it bounces back again. That’s how our lives go. This was always a conversation topic with one of my great friends and teachers, Maritza. In between pisco sours, driving through the streets of Lima selling flower pots… that the good thing about hitting rock bottom is that you can push yourself and come back even stronger!
I feel most people focus too much on the part of the descent of the ball, without making the most out of the peaks. They don’t even have to be the highest peaks or world-changing things, just realizing that moment when you’re backing down from a decision that seemed certain. For example, wanting to call someone you haven’t talked to for a while, cooking a special dish or updating your curriculum to change jobs.
When you are in the falling moments we have to start from the base, 101. What do I want to do? What am I capable of doing? What is good for me? What do I want to eat? Who do I want to talk to? What show do I like to watch that distracts me? (I love Becker!). Where do I begin? What is my worst worry and how I do face it? And then, just when there is a a peak, a “high”… saz!! You have to grab it! This is the time to do it, not before or after, then, in that moment!
Well I lost in the tiebreak, but I left happy!
Oh! And to top it off, I ran into Mario (one of the “senores” that are the vital force of the Centro Sportivo) with a slice of fresh watermelon… how delicious!
Until next time!